Farm Humour

Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

Bullsh*t!

What do you get when you cross a Bulldog with a Shih-Tzu.

A BullSh*t!

She's a old one but a good one!!

Crap Jokes!

Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

.... and an even more crap joke:


Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath

A Picture Sent to Very Happy Pig!

Crazy Daisy, a new member sent us this funny World War 2 Picture!

And it's so true! Pigs are Cool!

Thanks Daisy! Cool Name!

Elephant!

Why does a Elephant never forget!?

Because no one ever tells them anything!!

Its a pub one!

Stupid Things Said In Court!

Lawyer: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July 15
Lawyer: What year?
Witness: Every year

Lawyer: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he
Witness: Uh, he's 20

Lawyer: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Witness: All my autopsies are performed on dead people

Lawyer: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
Witness: Gucci sweats and Reeboks

Lawyer: So the date of conception of the baby was August 8?
Witness: Yes
Lawyer: And what were you doing at the time?
Witness: Uh, I was getting laid

Lawyer: How old is your son - the one living with you?
Witness: 38 or 35, I can't remember which
Lawyer: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: 45 years

Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
Witness: he said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Lawyer: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No
Lawyer: Blood pressure?
Witness: No
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No
Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No
Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar
Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Witness: It is possible that he could be alive and practicing law somewhere

Guide Dog!

A blind man walks into a clothes shop with his guidedog. The shop manager looks over at him and sees the blind man is swinging the dog around, over his head by his lead!

The shop manager runs over and says to the man, What are you doing??

The blind man says "don't mind me, I'm just having a look around!!"

Now that's a funny one!!

TOMATO

What did the Daddy tomato say to the baby tomato when he was trailing behind?

KETHCHUP!!!!

Oh my god sh*t!!

Hehe!

Cheese!

What do you call cheese that's not yours!?

Nacho Cheese!!!

Help!