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Three Docs.....


Three Doctors discussing their countries medical achievements –
Israeli doctor says "We took a kidney out of one man and put it in
another and he was out looking for work in 6 months."
English doctor says "We took a lung out of one man and put it in
another and he was out looking for work in 5 months!"
Irish doctor says …….
"We took an arsehole out of Offaly and put it in
the Dail and the whole country was out looking for work in 3 months..."



VeryHappyPig says this is very funny but kinda true too!



This Is Brilliant But You Have To Read It All!


So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me two single whiskies" "Sure" the bartender replies, "do you want them both now or one at a time?" "Oh, both now" replies the guy, "one's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket. The Bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?" "Sure" replied the guy and with that the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey. "That's amazing" replied the bartender, "what else can he do? Can he walk?" With that the guy flips a quarter down to the other end of the bar and asks the little fella to get it.

Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy. "That really is amazing" replied the bartender, "Can he talk?" "Of course" says the guy,

"Hey Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a wanker..."



You have to admit that that's a half funny one!



Aaahhh Run!!


A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"
"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."






Animal Jokes


Q. What do you call an elephant that's just eaten a ton of beans?
A. A smellyphant!

Q. Why don't elephants eat penguins?
A. They can't get the wrappers off!

Q. What sort of bird steals from banks?
A. A robin!

Q. Where do farm animals keep their savings?
A. In a piggy bank!

Q. What happened to the frog's car when it broke down?
A. It was toad away!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide!



Just a little animal humour from a pig to cheer up his piglets!!



Horse Bar, Sheep and One-Legged Dog!


A horse walks into a bar.

The Barman says why the long face!

Where do you find a one legged dog?

Where you left it.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.



Now these aren't to bad, sorta!

VeryHappyPig loves the one-legged dog one!



Sorta Goodish Jokes!


Did you hear about the Tomatoes Funeral?

There was a big turnip at it!

How High is a china man.



Ok these are bad and the China man one is really bad.... but were not talking about his height, were just saying his name! How High! Ha Ha! Again, VeryHappyPig doesn’t blame you for logging off and deleting all history of this site!!



Funny Bumper Stickers


The title speaks for itself!

VeryHappyPig has hundreds of bumper stickers, just don't have a car to put them on!





Snowmen! Washing Machines! Talking Sausages and Goldfish!!


Two Snowmen standing at the end of a field!

One says to the other.."Do you smell carrots!

Why didn't Rover bark?

Because he was a Goldfish!

Why was the washing machine laughing?

Because it was taking the pi*s out of the underpants!

Two sausages on a pan, one says to the other "jaysus it's hot in here."

The other one says "AHHhhh a talking sausage!"



VeryHappyPig knowss they're crap and we don't blame you for logging off and never visiting us again...... we would!!



Piggy Jokes


What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs? A pig tail!

What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!

What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment!

A city child came running into the farmhouse. "No wonder that mama pig is so big," she yelled. "There's a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!"

If you pushed a pig down a hill would he be a sausage roll?

Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for mother's day? What did they do? They threw a sowprize party.



Oops, they're kinda crap but they are about pigs!



From The School Yard....


Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.



Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"



Follow The Pig

How To Be Our Friend: When you log into your FaceBook account, there is a search section on the top right hand corner, just type in the name Curley Arnold and the picture below will pop up! Just click the Add Friend button and we all will be Friends!!